Friday, April 11, 2008

Two years, Part 1

Today is the two year anniversary of Michael coming to the U.S. (from the U.K.). It's about two weeks to our second wedding anniversary.

It's hard to know what to think today. It's a pretty human impulse to want to mark milestones, years passing, progress. And it's hard here to know how to measure progress. The good parts... well, we're together. The best part. Some things have gotten easier. Although Michael's overall physical condition is a mixed bag, his blood sugar is fine, he's over 100 lbs. lighter, and I think we've finally found a way of eating that works, plus a number of the psychological things have gotten at lot better. The bad parts... ok, I do think that we thought that this would be easier than it has been. It has not been easy, not for either one of us, and some days, it's simply beyond hard. I'm angry about wasting a year and a half on the food pyramid, basically. And I wonder all the time if things would have been better if we hadn't had that car accident last spring. And some days, it's really hard to be the cheerful person.

Today, one friend, an old student of mine, said, wow, you must be really militant about this low carb thing (I was talking about not eating bread and drinking beer). No, not really. But I believe in it, and I do what I think I'm supposed to do. And it matters, so I do it.

And another friend really hurt me. Maybe because she misunderstood me, but I read what she said as, you're kidding yourself if you think that you can win this battle. Love and faith are less important than surgery. Maybe they are, but I'm not willing to make that choice yet. Neither of us want that. Not yet. Not that it's a bad choice, but it's not the right choice for us, right now.

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