It's the day I work out all the statistics, and it's not good. Weight up nearly a pound this morning, and with everything earlier in the week, this makes my net weight change this week = UP 1.1. I don't mind the day to day stuff but the weekly things are discouraging.
Food yesterday: Calories 2325 (maybe a little higher as it's hard to calculate the chicken gravy properly), carbs 55.5, net 45.5, this is not good, really too high I think. Protein 207. I feel good in general. I wish the numbers didn't bother me.
This trying to eat more calories thing is unexpectedly tricky. It's hard to eat more calories without eating a LOT more calories accidentally... being careless with amounts of fat, that kind of thing. There's a trick to everything.
Up early this morning waiting for the dishwasher guy who is hopefully bringing the new dishwasher which will hopefully actually work properly for some period of time. A week of handwashing everything in a back breakingly low sink really makes you think about (1) counter height, (2) how great having a dishwasher really is, and (3) the fact that everyone in your family has this weird compulsion to use 5 glasses when 1 would have worked just as well.
The problem is, we've been at this weight thing for so long, and with so little result. Not the low carb part, but all of it. And even the low carb part has been... well, really 1.5 months, but another month more than that on kind of starting. I suppose you can't really count that. I've worked myself into such a state of anxiety about everything that my whole day hinges on the scale in the morning, and of course I know that's foolish; it's a setup for disappointment.
And it's not even me that I'm worried about. I'm just the guinea pig. If I can lose weight doing... whatever... then I can take that to Michael and say, here, look, this works, do this. He tries not to be discouraged, at least for my benefit, but for him, these issues are a thousandfold worse. The effects of weight are exponential. For me, it's an inconvenience. For him, it's mobility, it's driving a car again, it's getting on a plane again, it's having a life that isn't restricted in a thousand ways.