Saturday, February 9, 2008

Discouraging Part Whatever

Yeah, ok, I am discouraged. Weight same as yesterday (which is up a pound from 2 days ago), and yes I should post these numbers, but I wanted to do that all at once. Point is that it's also the end (or beginning, I guess) of my menstrual cycle, and I checked back to a month ago... and, you guessed it, exactly the same weight. It is hard to come to any optimistic spin that doesn't say, you are not losing weight. You feel better, you look better, but you are not losing weight.


I read someone's blog yesterday, and he said that he'd done low carb for ages, didn't lose weight, and then discovered that he was allergic to a particular cheese, and that when he stopped eating that cheese, he lost 70 lbs. I read other things about particular foods, and wonder if it's that... and then I wonder if I'm just looking for a magic bullet that will fix this. I wonder if I'm eating too much. I wonder if I'm eating too little. I am, on the whole, just discouraged beyond belief... and trying not to be.

There are a thousand things that make sense to me, but they all seem like rationalizations today. Ways to delude myself for a little longer that this is working, because I feel better and I don't want to stop feeling better. I don't want to feel deprived so much again. I don't want to have to pay phobic attention to every calorie. I thought that this was supposed to buy me out of that, to some extent.

Oh, hell. Just really discouraged today.

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