I try not to bitch and moan about my marital past, because... well, it's the past, and we both tried, although not, I have to say, in compatible ways. And he was/is a good guy in a lot of ways. But one of the things that I found consistently most difficult is that he would never make any effort at all about holidays of any kind... birthdays, even. Not even to wish you a happy birthday or something like that. And after a while... you get stuck between feeling really petty for caring and feeling really hurt that he couldn't make the effort to just pick you a flower or something. So after decades of really dreading everything like a holiday because it just made me feel bad, it is such a happy thing not to do that. It's finally getting me to the point where I almost relax about these things and can just be happy with the moment and whatever comes in it... which is really the thing I suppose that I wish I could do to with everything.
Anyway, this year he gave me an iTouch, which I have been secretly coveting for ages despite loving my iPod Shuffle which is tiny and great for walking and the gym. And I mention this mainly because I discovered the Most Great thing that this can do... receive hundreds of public radio stations. I had no idea, and this is something that has just driven me crazy for fifteen years. We live in a valley, and the nearest public radio stations are about 40 miles away and have weak receivers, and you can't pick them up at all at night, especially the AM station that has the news programs that I like. I have tried just everything... better radios. HD radios. Antennas. Internet (doesn't work well because the internet connection is not good enough to stream well, although this seems not to be an issue with the ). Sitting in my car for hours. Screaming with frustration. Downloading podcasts. It's this thing that should be just simple, and every solution I've found has been annoying as hell. So I am just absolutely delighted that it seems like this is going to let me actually listen to NPR again. Intelligent news. Bliss. And such a cool present.
Food.
Quiche/protein shake.
5 chicken wing segments that passed for lunch.
And then I got involved playing with the iTouch (which I can see is also going to be a great way to totally waste time), and didn't eat anything until late... had an ounce of cheese on a cracker before dinner, and then dinner was this...
salmon glazed with mustard, leftover Brussels sprouts from yesterday, and Dreamfield's pasta with a little butter and Parmesan cheese. And I had a sugar-free chocolate. Michael's mouth is still driving him crazy, hence the pasta again. I am not crazy about this stuff... that is, I like it, but pasta is really kind of a trigger food for me, and so I prefer just not to eat it, even if it supposedly has only 5 digestable carbs or whatever. (And I think we're going to be seeing those Brussels sprouts for another day or two... I cooked a LOT of them. I went to the grocery store with my son and explained to him how to pick out Brussels sprouts, and left him there while I was getting some other produce. Came back and he had this huge bag. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was about twice as much as I had in mind, after he'd carefully picked through. It's a good thing we all like these.)
I also kept getting up all night because I felt awful and nibbled on kind of a lot of pork rinds, because, weirdly, they actually settle my stomach. [weight: -1.8]
All in all, a really nice Valentine's. Even better than the iTouch was the card that Michael made himself. I don't think anyone has ever made me a card before.
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