The good news: Michael is down 3 lbs for the week. The bad news: I'm up nearly 2 lbs for the week.
He was actually lower a few days ago... well, I was, too. The last couple of days we ate late, and I woke up this morning just beyond bloated, back to feeling like I couldn't close my hands, that sort of thing. So... probably my lousy weight today is just water, and it will probably go away, and so on.
But in the big picture, I'm still 3.5 lbs higher than I was two weeks ago, and I've about wiped out everything I lost in the previous two weeks, and I am beyond disheartened. I don't know how not to be discouraged about this. I don't know what to do next, what I'm not doing, what I should be doing, and I am just so tired of it all.
I could sit here and type out all my theories again and all the reasons why I shouldn't let this get me down, but I woke up from an awful dream of the past this morning, and it's all just a little much. I don't know how to stick all the pieces together today; I don't have the right glue. I'm sure this will all seem better in a while, and I'll do what I always do and put it all back together and try another stupid day, but right now, I just want to quit. But what do you do then, where do you go to quit?
I am so discouraged. Disheartened.