Thursday, March 5, 2009

Accountability. Cymbalta. Whining.

I've been doing ok at removing the excess weight that I managed to gain in NYC... mostly water, fortunately... but it is really clear to me that I am nowhere close to being able to do this on my own without some kind of accountability. So I'm back to the food diary today, although probably not photos just get because my son swiped my camera for a school project and hasn't brought it back yet!

If you were reading back in January, I'd finally decided that my level of depression had gotten so far out of hand that I was willing to try anti-depressants again, called up Psychiatrist Sis, and got her recommendation... Cymbalta... which my insurance company promptly refused to pay for. I was Not Happy (well, obviously). Since then I've been working on getting approval... or my doctor has... and this finally came through.

But this is my dilemma. I really don't feel as bad as I did in January. Not even close. For one thing, Michael is a lot better, and that increases my coping abilities hugely. Other than this persistent, horribly painful hip thing, I feel physically better. Things are... ok-ish. Most of the time.

But I have a hard time stabilizing my mood at the best of times. I still can't seem to get past the lethargy that's been characteristic of everything since my mother's death. I can't seem to get past the fact that any small thing rattles the foundations of whatever peace of mind I have. And maybe something would help with that. Plus a number of people have put some effort into making sure that I can try this.

I really don't know what to do.


LOlfitness said...

Take the drug, but beforhand: decide upon a set amount of time you'll take the drug for. After that, evaluate if anything has changed. if not, go off it. If so, decide if the change is enough to keep going on with it.

MizFit said...

LOlfitness has a great suggestion.

I have none to offer but support.
it's too hard to know what to say when Ive not walked a mile in someones shoes.


Disconnected Diva said...

I too will offer you support, and accountability if you want it. I try to be accountable by posting my weekly weigh-ins on my weight-loss forum. I will help you in anyway you can.

Emotions are real and they are ours. I hope that you find success with this medication. I don't really know much about it, so I can't offer up any advice.

I can tell you that if I didn't have my stand by of the ocassional nerve pill, I'd already be in the looney bin.

Chin up sister ! We can do this !