Ugh

I am not a happy bunny lately. First of all, my weight has taken another up fluctuation... about 2 lbs., and ok, I know that this is nothing; it's menstrual bloat (too much info probably) plus yesterday I had to take a bunch of my students to an event, and on the way home, I took them out for sushi. I had mostly sashimi, but I hadn't eat most of the day, and I was just starving, so I had about a cup of rice... and soy sauce always makes me retain water, too. It's nothing, really.

But it doesn't change the "I am sure not losing a lot of weight" equation. I try not to get frustrated about this, but let's face it... for nearly the last two years, the scale has hovered around 290, and now, on the whole, it's more like 286. If I could even get down into the 270s, I'd at least feel like something had actually changed. Yes, I feel better. Yes, my body looks better. But somewhere along the line, I have to actually LOSE some weight.

And I hate to say it, but I think that the answer is calories. You start on an Atkins-type diet, and everyone says, oh, you don't have to count calories; you can eat what you want. And I think that there are people who are like this... and I think that if I just wanted to maintain my weight, I really could eat more or less what I want as long as it's low carb. But calories DO count as some point. At some point, metabolic advantage or not, you are eating too many calories.

Of course, I say that, and the next thing I think is, well, maybe it's something else... maybe it's cortisol, maybe it's my metabolism, maybe I need to be eating more carbs not less, maybe....

But I have read so many things lately... including Jimmy Moore's blog this morning... talking about this kind of problem, maintaining but not losing and the need to pay attention to calories. I don't know. I just wish sometimes that someone would simply tell me what to do, what exactly would work for ME. And I can't seem to find that answer. Also, it's not like I'm eating a ton. Maybe 2000-2300 calories/day, and I am not a petite babe, and I am not generally stuffed by any means. But I think I have to try cutting it down, which means paying attention and recording, and that does not make me happy because I have a hard time doing it in a rational way.