Michael: -3.52 lbs, 485.1, total loss since January: 58 lbs.
Nina: -.0 lbs, 278.84, total loss since January: 23.3 lbs.
We we both higher mid-week, lower yesterday, so all in all, not bad, although I'm still pretty stalled.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Eat More Slowly. Watch Portion Size. Stop Screwing Around and Pack the Car
Words to live by, kind of.
I have been paying BIG attention to what I've been eating the last couple of days, and on my biggest food issue, mindlessly quickly shoving food into my mouth, not even realizing what I've eaten. And I've been rewarded a little; my weight is the lowest that it's been in a while. Let's see what it is tomorrow when I post stats...
The hardest thing for me, in a lot of ways, is to be mindful about food. I'll spend hours prepping food, and then I'll shove it all into my mouth in 10 minutes. That's not the way it's supposed to be, and I think that long-term weight control must involve retraining myself about this particular thing. It is really not easy.
Tomorrow we start on a two-day drive to Maine, where we'll spend some unknown amount of time, depending on how comfortable Michael is there. Originally we'd thought that Mom would come up, that all the family would be there. Seems beyond unlikely at the moment. So we will have this little bit of time there... it's the first time I've been to my family home in probably five years, maybe more... since I realized that there was no point to going somewhere that only made me unhappy. But that was a different time, a different set of circumstances, a different marriage. I'm hoping that this will be better.
I'm also hoping that I can make sensible food choices both on the way and when we get there. Weight is going well this week, and I don't want to screw it up for the sake of travel. It's just not worth it.
I have been paying BIG attention to what I've been eating the last couple of days, and on my biggest food issue, mindlessly quickly shoving food into my mouth, not even realizing what I've eaten. And I've been rewarded a little; my weight is the lowest that it's been in a while. Let's see what it is tomorrow when I post stats...
The hardest thing for me, in a lot of ways, is to be mindful about food. I'll spend hours prepping food, and then I'll shove it all into my mouth in 10 minutes. That's not the way it's supposed to be, and I think that long-term weight control must involve retraining myself about this particular thing. It is really not easy.
Tomorrow we start on a two-day drive to Maine, where we'll spend some unknown amount of time, depending on how comfortable Michael is there. Originally we'd thought that Mom would come up, that all the family would be there. Seems beyond unlikely at the moment. So we will have this little bit of time there... it's the first time I've been to my family home in probably five years, maybe more... since I realized that there was no point to going somewhere that only made me unhappy. But that was a different time, a different set of circumstances, a different marriage. I'm hoping that this will be better.
I'm also hoping that I can make sensible food choices both on the way and when we get there. Weight is going well this week, and I don't want to screw it up for the sake of travel. It's just not worth it.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
More Grim News
My mother's been in the hospital all week, heart issues (periocarditis) on top of everything else. And they drained off some of the fluid around her heart and found bits of tumor in the fluid. Which is really bad news.
I want to believe that there's a happy ending here, but I don't. They haven't even decided if they're going to continue the chemotherapy at this point. I really have no idea what's happening in the grand scheme of things, but it's looking increasingly like we're talking about a matter of months.
I don't know what to do, really. How to think about this. What I am supposed to be doing. I just hate it. And I know that on top of everything else, my role in this is already fixed. I'm going to have to be the strong one, the person who stays put together. I don't want to be. I want to be comforted. I want someone else to deal with this. I want to be someone else. And none of these things are in the choice set.
I don't think that there's any way to ever be ready for this kind of thing.
It's all not exactly a low-carb, weight loss topic, but in a weird way, it kind of is, too... I mean, sustaining weight loss is about doing it even when the rest of your life is happening, not just when all the things are lined up to make weight loss easy. Easier anyway. And that's part of the challenge here... how we are going to get through whatever happens next, while trying like hell to do the things that we need to do to save our own lives.
Michael is frustrated and discouraged, anyway. We went to the physical therapist last week, and she gave him a set of exercises to strengthen his legs... and apparently he overdid it, more pain, one more thing. I know that at some point this will get better, that the curve will reach a peak and things for him will get better rather than worse. But it is so hard to watch him, angry and frustrated and sad. I can't help him, and I can't help (apparently) being dragged into it... I mean, how can you watch someone you love being miserable and then just go on and do your stuff? I can't. I just don't know how to.
I want to believe that there's a happy ending here, but I don't. They haven't even decided if they're going to continue the chemotherapy at this point. I really have no idea what's happening in the grand scheme of things, but it's looking increasingly like we're talking about a matter of months.
I don't know what to do, really. How to think about this. What I am supposed to be doing. I just hate it. And I know that on top of everything else, my role in this is already fixed. I'm going to have to be the strong one, the person who stays put together. I don't want to be. I want to be comforted. I want someone else to deal with this. I want to be someone else. And none of these things are in the choice set.
I don't think that there's any way to ever be ready for this kind of thing.
It's all not exactly a low-carb, weight loss topic, but in a weird way, it kind of is, too... I mean, sustaining weight loss is about doing it even when the rest of your life is happening, not just when all the things are lined up to make weight loss easy. Easier anyway. And that's part of the challenge here... how we are going to get through whatever happens next, while trying like hell to do the things that we need to do to save our own lives.
Michael is frustrated and discouraged, anyway. We went to the physical therapist last week, and she gave him a set of exercises to strengthen his legs... and apparently he overdid it, more pain, one more thing. I know that at some point this will get better, that the curve will reach a peak and things for him will get better rather than worse. But it is so hard to watch him, angry and frustrated and sad. I can't help him, and I can't help (apparently) being dragged into it... I mean, how can you watch someone you love being miserable and then just go on and do your stuff? I can't. I just don't know how to.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Doctor Irritation
Yesterday was Doctor Day... a round of seeing just about everyone, I think. Only good thing about it was getting it over with all in one day... although we're having an unexpected trip to the physical therapist today.
First up was our GP, who I have to say is, on the whole, a lovely guy. BUT he's a huge cholesterol cop, and the thing that he's pushed from day one is treating Michael's high LDL. And so we did, in the days before low-carb. We tried a bunch of statin drugs that didn't do much at all but ended up causing such joint pain that Michael found movement just about impossible. This killed about a year for us. We tried some resin thing... I'm not even going to try to spell it because it's not worth looking up... with no particular effects at all. Admittedly, we did not do a good job of taking it regularly, but chugging tons of this stuff only seemed to make constipation an issue. And in the end, we decided, to hell with it. Diet and exercise will help. A low carb diet will increase HDL and reduce triglycerides, and that's the important thing, anyway.
So, yesterday, he again pushed this. I/we said, we have decided not to treat this at this time. And, wow, you could see the temperature in the room change.
Yes, I know that we all get stuck in our own paradigms. I know that he really believes that this is a mistake. I know that he is genuinely concerned about this. BUT it would be nice if he'd display a little interest in something other than this one thing. The slightly worrisome rise in Michael's A1C. Weight loss. The things he's actually having a problem with. Managing diabetes better. The awesome triglyceride drop.
We were both annoyed and dismayed.
I get a little tired of having to fight about this all the time. The most tedious thing about the whole low-carb lifestyle is that some days, you just feel like you're fighting everyone.
First up was our GP, who I have to say is, on the whole, a lovely guy. BUT he's a huge cholesterol cop, and the thing that he's pushed from day one is treating Michael's high LDL. And so we did, in the days before low-carb. We tried a bunch of statin drugs that didn't do much at all but ended up causing such joint pain that Michael found movement just about impossible. This killed about a year for us. We tried some resin thing... I'm not even going to try to spell it because it's not worth looking up... with no particular effects at all. Admittedly, we did not do a good job of taking it regularly, but chugging tons of this stuff only seemed to make constipation an issue. And in the end, we decided, to hell with it. Diet and exercise will help. A low carb diet will increase HDL and reduce triglycerides, and that's the important thing, anyway.
So, yesterday, he again pushed this. I/we said, we have decided not to treat this at this time. And, wow, you could see the temperature in the room change.
Yes, I know that we all get stuck in our own paradigms. I know that he really believes that this is a mistake. I know that he is genuinely concerned about this. BUT it would be nice if he'd display a little interest in something other than this one thing. The slightly worrisome rise in Michael's A1C. Weight loss. The things he's actually having a problem with. Managing diabetes better. The awesome triglyceride drop.
We were both annoyed and dismayed.
I get a little tired of having to fight about this all the time. The most tedious thing about the whole low-carb lifestyle is that some days, you just feel like you're fighting everyone.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Stats, Week of June 23, Breakeven
Michael: -1.1 lbs, 488.68, total loss since January: 54.78 lbs.
Nina: -0 lbs, 278.88, total loss since January: 23.3 lbs.
It's hard to call that really an inspiring result, but I'm not unhappy with it, given that I spent four days in Baltimore pigging out on dried fruit and too much cheese, and Michael spent four days alone here, just eating too much. Both of our weights were up considerably on Friday, and so pretty much a break even result is good.
We go to Maine a week from today, so this week needs to be a good week... we've already lost two summer weeks to travel and, I don't know, just not having a great food week. We're not going to make our June 480/270 goal... pretty far off that really. So... well, undaunted, let's think pushing that goal back a month, trying to be really careful about eating this week, and even more mindful on "vacation" or whatever this trip really is.
Nina: -0 lbs, 278.88, total loss since January: 23.3 lbs.
It's hard to call that really an inspiring result, but I'm not unhappy with it, given that I spent four days in Baltimore pigging out on dried fruit and too much cheese, and Michael spent four days alone here, just eating too much. Both of our weights were up considerably on Friday, and so pretty much a break even result is good.
We go to Maine a week from today, so this week needs to be a good week... we've already lost two summer weeks to travel and, I don't know, just not having a great food week. We're not going to make our June 480/270 goal... pretty far off that really. So... well, undaunted, let's think pushing that goal back a month, trying to be really careful about eating this week, and even more mindful on "vacation" or whatever this trip really is.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Low Carb in Novels
During my Baltimore trip, I rattled through two novels, both of which I enjoyed, but... the second one I read was Anita Shreve's Body Surfing. Now, I have to say, I really enjoyed this book on the whole; Anita Shreve writes beautifully and atmospherically... I think I've read and enjoyed nearly all her novels, and this one was no exception.
But right in the beginning, when she introduces the only character in this book who is pretty much totally unsympathetic... prejudiced and petty and pretentious would all be good descriptive words for her... she also characterizes her as being on a low-carb diet. Note the following excerpts...
"Unlike Mrs. Edwards, who counts her carbs religiously and seems to be hastening herself to an early death with the eggs and meats and cheese she eats in quantity. Even the low-carb ice-cream bars she snacks on at night seem, with their thick, viscous shine, to be depositing cholesterol molecules directly into her bloodstream." (p. 14)
"Ben attacks his lobster with relish. Jeff breaks the soft-shell claws with his fingers and eats the sweet meat without butter. Mrs. Edwards drenches even the smallest shreds in the yellow liquid. No carbs in butter." (p. 19)
"'Bread?' Sydney offers, picking up a basket.
Mrs. Edwards stares. Mrs. Edwards does not eat bread." (p. 23)
Now, possibly, these excerpts aren't really conveying what I'm trying to show, but... well, first of all, there's that media notion, so at odds with all the actual scientific evidence, that a low-carb diet is a ticket to high cholesterol and fatty arteries. That ignorance bothers me. It's like an acceptable prejudice... like, 150 years ago, people would say, oh, Negroes are lazy... and it would be, oh, well, of course they are.... because doesn't everyone think that? Of course a low carb diet causes heart disease. Everybody knows that.
The second part that bothers me is the clear association between a low-carb diet and a character who is implied to be gluttonous. The drenching of the lobster with excessive butter. The quantity of meats and cheeses. It's more "media Atkins", the notion that everyone eating a low-carb diet is pigging out on vast quantities of fatty food.... and that there's something wrong, something vaguely distasteful about it.
I don't think that I've ever read a novel before in which the diet that the person had chosen seems to be saying something about them... and the message was, someone you would like would not eat this way. It really bothered me, this casual, ill-informed perception. It offended me in the same way that I'd be offended if someone said anything that lumps all people together in their characteristics and choices... all redheads are bad-tempered. Wives always nag their husbands. Americans are ill-mannered overseas. Things like that. Things that group people into distasteful things, things that associate innocuous choices with not-so-innocuous behaviors.
As I said, I'm probably making too much of this, but it really bothered me.
But right in the beginning, when she introduces the only character in this book who is pretty much totally unsympathetic... prejudiced and petty and pretentious would all be good descriptive words for her... she also characterizes her as being on a low-carb diet. Note the following excerpts...
"Unlike Mrs. Edwards, who counts her carbs religiously and seems to be hastening herself to an early death with the eggs and meats and cheese she eats in quantity. Even the low-carb ice-cream bars she snacks on at night seem, with their thick, viscous shine, to be depositing cholesterol molecules directly into her bloodstream." (p. 14)
"Ben attacks his lobster with relish. Jeff breaks the soft-shell claws with his fingers and eats the sweet meat without butter. Mrs. Edwards drenches even the smallest shreds in the yellow liquid. No carbs in butter." (p. 19)
"'Bread?' Sydney offers, picking up a basket.
Mrs. Edwards stares. Mrs. Edwards does not eat bread." (p. 23)
Now, possibly, these excerpts aren't really conveying what I'm trying to show, but... well, first of all, there's that media notion, so at odds with all the actual scientific evidence, that a low-carb diet is a ticket to high cholesterol and fatty arteries. That ignorance bothers me. It's like an acceptable prejudice... like, 150 years ago, people would say, oh, Negroes are lazy... and it would be, oh, well, of course they are.... because doesn't everyone think that? Of course a low carb diet causes heart disease. Everybody knows that.
The second part that bothers me is the clear association between a low-carb diet and a character who is implied to be gluttonous. The drenching of the lobster with excessive butter. The quantity of meats and cheeses. It's more "media Atkins", the notion that everyone eating a low-carb diet is pigging out on vast quantities of fatty food.... and that there's something wrong, something vaguely distasteful about it.
I don't think that I've ever read a novel before in which the diet that the person had chosen seems to be saying something about them... and the message was, someone you would like would not eat this way. It really bothered me, this casual, ill-informed perception. It offended me in the same way that I'd be offended if someone said anything that lumps all people together in their characteristics and choices... all redheads are bad-tempered. Wives always nag their husbands. Americans are ill-mannered overseas. Things like that. Things that group people into distasteful things, things that associate innocuous choices with not-so-innocuous behaviors.
As I said, I'm probably making too much of this, but it really bothered me.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Baltimania
Well, here I am in Baltimore. I'm tired and uncomfortable, and I've eaten too much. It's early morning on Wednesday, and every bone in my body aches after two nights on the sofa, and there isn't a chair in this house that I find really comfortable. I'm hoping that I remember this the next time I get some yen for leather furniture... pretty to look at, comfortable for a while, but after a while... sticky, and for me anyway, just not comfy. Some of this is probably my fault; there are sleeping alternatives to the couch, but they all seem like A Lot of Trouble, and so I go to sleep on the couch... and wake up with my legs cramped, and tired and grouchy. And there are these stupid wind chimes, which I am about 10 minutes from throwing over the balcony...
And I'm not eating right, not really. Too much food in general, but also sitting here late-night and reading and eating dried fruit... better, I suppose, than some other choices, but high in sugar, high in calories, definitely not on plan. I feel... well, stuffed and ready to roast. Like the pork I'm cooking today.
Mom is... I don't know. Nauseated a lot of the time; that's the chemo. Frail. It is frightening when you suddenly realize that your mother's hands look like your grandmother's. When did this happen? When did she get this old? It's hard to really know what's happening here, how much of this is the chemo and how much of it is the cancer. Hard to know much of anything. Hard to have any idea what to do, what to think, what to feel. She's more herself than she was last summer after the surgery, just sick all the time... but I have no idea what the next step on this path could possibly be.
And I'm not eating right, not really. Too much food in general, but also sitting here late-night and reading and eating dried fruit... better, I suppose, than some other choices, but high in sugar, high in calories, definitely not on plan. I feel... well, stuffed and ready to roast. Like the pork I'm cooking today.
Mom is... I don't know. Nauseated a lot of the time; that's the chemo. Frail. It is frightening when you suddenly realize that your mother's hands look like your grandmother's. When did this happen? When did she get this old? It's hard to really know what's happening here, how much of this is the chemo and how much of it is the cancer. Hard to know much of anything. Hard to have any idea what to do, what to think, what to feel. She's more herself than she was last summer after the surgery, just sick all the time... but I have no idea what the next step on this path could possibly be.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Stats, Week of June 16, Not Great
Michael: +1.76 lbs, 489.7, total loss since January: 53.7 lbs.
Nina: +0/88 lbs, 278.88, total loss since January: 23.3 lbs.
It's been a very strange week. Among other things, we were in Rochester 6 out of 7 days, and although we ate ok, relatively speaking, while we were out, it threw off our schedule, and we ate a number of things that, while not exactly off-plan, were not what we normally would have chosen. I've felt out of whack all week, tired and bloated, and Michael's still on the mega-dose of naproxen, which doesn't really help anything.
So, fine. You shrug and plan for next week to be better... and I really need it to be; I'm off to Baltimore this morning to see my mother, and it's going to be difficult all around, particularly making sure that the eating stays where it should be while I'm gone for 4 days... for Michael, too. The fact of the matter is that both of us do better from every point of view when we're in the same place. This is the longest that we've been away from each other since we've been married... and it's only 4 days, but still.
Nina: +0/88 lbs, 278.88, total loss since January: 23.3 lbs.
It's been a very strange week. Among other things, we were in Rochester 6 out of 7 days, and although we ate ok, relatively speaking, while we were out, it threw off our schedule, and we ate a number of things that, while not exactly off-plan, were not what we normally would have chosen. I've felt out of whack all week, tired and bloated, and Michael's still on the mega-dose of naproxen, which doesn't really help anything.
So, fine. You shrug and plan for next week to be better... and I really need it to be; I'm off to Baltimore this morning to see my mother, and it's going to be difficult all around, particularly making sure that the eating stays where it should be while I'm gone for 4 days... for Michael, too. The fact of the matter is that both of us do better from every point of view when we're in the same place. This is the longest that we've been away from each other since we've been married... and it's only 4 days, but still.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
It's not going to be a Good Week
I don't know what's happened to this week, really. As much as anything, it's just been incredibly busy, lots of errand-running and little things that have made it chaos all the time. Yesterday my son had his birthday party... we still have a bunch of 14 year olds strewn randomly around the place. And I've had a few college kids working odd jobs and so on... and I've been to Rochester every day this week, which is at least 4 days too many.
And food hasn't been great. Except yesterday when we did indulge in a slice of pizza (just one!) ordered for the party, it's nothing you can really put your finger on. Just a lot of days of eating not quite right, not quite often enough, not the right portion size, things like that. And I think it's all going to weight out to not good at all. I might be wrong, and there are still two days in the week, but I'm not optimistic. And bracing myself.
Everything I post these days seems to be stressed and dismal, but it's how I feel. Things have just been hard lately, lots of nagging things that need doing, the situation with my mother, and a persistent fight that keeps coming back up every couple of days, making us both feel bad without being able to get any kind of resolution on it. It makes all the food things hard, too. Easy though it is for me to maintain this way of eating, it's even easier for me to eat too much... and what I want right now is a kind of comfort that I can't get, that doesn't exist really... but yet that some part of me thinks can be found in food. I want to curl up with a book and... something... and shut out all the persistent negative and sad things in my head. No, it doesn't work. No, I'm not going to do it. But, yes, it seems like it would feel good. And maybe it would, until it was over and, as always, the piper has to be paid.
So we pick up and tidy up the pieces and go on. Make some tea, figure out what my student odd-job kids are going to do today, just move on with it all. And eventually it will feel better.
And food hasn't been great. Except yesterday when we did indulge in a slice of pizza (just one!) ordered for the party, it's nothing you can really put your finger on. Just a lot of days of eating not quite right, not quite often enough, not the right portion size, things like that. And I think it's all going to weight out to not good at all. I might be wrong, and there are still two days in the week, but I'm not optimistic. And bracing myself.
Everything I post these days seems to be stressed and dismal, but it's how I feel. Things have just been hard lately, lots of nagging things that need doing, the situation with my mother, and a persistent fight that keeps coming back up every couple of days, making us both feel bad without being able to get any kind of resolution on it. It makes all the food things hard, too. Easy though it is for me to maintain this way of eating, it's even easier for me to eat too much... and what I want right now is a kind of comfort that I can't get, that doesn't exist really... but yet that some part of me thinks can be found in food. I want to curl up with a book and... something... and shut out all the persistent negative and sad things in my head. No, it doesn't work. No, I'm not going to do it. But, yes, it seems like it would feel good. And maybe it would, until it was over and, as always, the piper has to be paid.
So we pick up and tidy up the pieces and go on. Make some tea, figure out what my student odd-job kids are going to do today, just move on with it all. And eventually it will feel better.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Stats, Week of June 9
Michael: -1.98 lbs, 488.4, total loss since January: 55 lbs.
Nina: -2.4 lbs, 278, total loss since January: 24.2 lbs.
All in all, a very good week. Michael was actually a few pounds lower mid-week, but the leg doctor has him on a course of naproxen that tends to make him retain water, so he's a little bloated.
Today is my son's 14th birthday!
What's for dinner? Either his favorite meal, salmon and asparagus, or perhaps we'll go out for Japanese food.
Nina: -2.4 lbs, 278, total loss since January: 24.2 lbs.
All in all, a very good week. Michael was actually a few pounds lower mid-week, but the leg doctor has him on a course of naproxen that tends to make him retain water, so he's a little bloated.
Today is my son's 14th birthday!
What's for dinner? Either his favorite meal, salmon and asparagus, or perhaps we'll go out for Japanese food.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
It's Saturday Already?
Wow, I just realized that I haven't blogged since Tuesday, so unlike me! It's mostly been just busy here, plus this sudden Northeastern heat wave that makes considering doing anything at all seem insane. And it's been another week of doctor's appointments, and since that always involve a trip to Rochester, it's also the chance to run all the errands that I can't so easily do in my little town. So that was Wednesday and Friday, and Thursday we had a work "retreat"... which is, I think, a polite euphemism for "all day meeting that no one could figure out how to schedule during the regular year." Oh, joy...
Anyway, the good news is that we went to the leg guy yesterday, and he can find nothing structurally wrong with Michael's legs... not even anything degenerative in the knees. The bad news part of that is that he also doesn't know what's wrong... doesn't know why he gets so much pain in that leg. Thinks that it isn't his back, probably... maybe inflammation of the lining of the kneecap... put him on a course of steady anti-inflammatories, come back in 3 weeks. Ok. Michael feels better and worse, I think... better that it's not a lot of things, but worse because... well, what is it? Plus the doctor pushed and pulled his knee around a great deal, didn't hurt at all at the time, became incredibly painful later. Probably the unaccustomed motion, I would guess, but let's hope it's better this morning. (Yes, he's still asleep...)
I don't know. I think that a lot of the bottom line on this is that the only thing that is really going to help a great deal is weight loss. And he is losing weight at a reasonable pace... but yet "a reasonable pace" takes a while when you have a lot to lose. Hard to be patient when its so incapacitating. Hard to be patient when you want to be more active, but more activity just hurts. And you read all these stories of people who lost a lot of weight, and at some point, everyone walks, everyone exercises... and how do you do that when walking for more than a few minutes is so painful?
I am just finding everything in my world so depressing lately, and it's hard to shake. Hard to pick up another day and do the next thing on the list. I have to, but right now, it all just seems like a lot of impossibly hard work.
Anyway, the good news is that we went to the leg guy yesterday, and he can find nothing structurally wrong with Michael's legs... not even anything degenerative in the knees. The bad news part of that is that he also doesn't know what's wrong... doesn't know why he gets so much pain in that leg. Thinks that it isn't his back, probably... maybe inflammation of the lining of the kneecap... put him on a course of steady anti-inflammatories, come back in 3 weeks. Ok. Michael feels better and worse, I think... better that it's not a lot of things, but worse because... well, what is it? Plus the doctor pushed and pulled his knee around a great deal, didn't hurt at all at the time, became incredibly painful later. Probably the unaccustomed motion, I would guess, but let's hope it's better this morning. (Yes, he's still asleep...)
I don't know. I think that a lot of the bottom line on this is that the only thing that is really going to help a great deal is weight loss. And he is losing weight at a reasonable pace... but yet "a reasonable pace" takes a while when you have a lot to lose. Hard to be patient when its so incapacitating. Hard to be patient when you want to be more active, but more activity just hurts. And you read all these stories of people who lost a lot of weight, and at some point, everyone walks, everyone exercises... and how do you do that when walking for more than a few minutes is so painful?
I am just finding everything in my world so depressing lately, and it's hard to shake. Hard to pick up another day and do the next thing on the list. I have to, but right now, it all just seems like a lot of impossibly hard work.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Of Fructose, Hares, and Darwin
Once you stop eating sugar for a while, the thing you really notice is how sweet a lot of things are. And if that sweet thing is a prepared food, you can just bet that one of the major ingredients will be either sugar or, far worse, high fructose corn syrup. I was making a salad dressing today, thinking Michael would be a little less bored with another salad lunch if it had a creamy dressing rather than my usual olive oil and a little balsamic vinegar. Put in some mayo, put in some sour cream, put in some crushed garlic, a little salt and pepper, a little dill, a little chipotle chili powder... yum! But I thought, this needs some bite. So I added some of a product I've used for years, Marukan seasoned rice vinegar. Never thought very much about what it was seasoned with, until my dressing turned sickly sweet. Turns out, right toward the top of the list is high fructose corn syrup. Sigh. Another product I won't be buying any more (at 5 carbs per tablespoon, and all of that from sugars).
The dressing actually wasn't bad on the salad, although it would have been better if less sweet. Reminded me, a little weirdly, of this horrible dish that my mother used to make, a sliced hardboiled egg with Thousand Island dressing over it. I think this is one of the things that people made in the 60s, along with Jell-O molds with fruit and whipped cream. It was revolting.
Anyway, I got this wonderful cookbook in the mail today. It's called Simple French Cooking, by X. Marcel Boulestin, and it was published in the 1920s as a guide to British cooks and their mistresses. That's mistresses as in employers, not the other kind! Back from the time when it was reasonable to think that a lot of people would have a cook. This book is just marvelous to read if you like old recipes. My favorite so far is the Lievre a la Royale, which I think translates to something like Royal Hare. The beginning of this recipe starts: "Bone the hare. Prepare a stuffing of truffled foie gras cut in slices, a quarter of a pound of veal and pork mixed, salt and pepper; arrange the minced meat between the slices of foie gras and remodel the hare." Remodel the hare??? Add an extra room and some wallpaper? The rest of the directions include cooking for 12 hours. I am dying to try this but I have no idea where I would get a hare. Or truffled foie gras.
The really interesting thing is that the vast majority of these recipes are rich but incredibly low carb. (And, by the way, just how big is "a good piece of butter?")
The preface to the book includes a quote from Darwin that I'd never heard before:
"Even the headless oyster seems to profit from experience."
The dressing actually wasn't bad on the salad, although it would have been better if less sweet. Reminded me, a little weirdly, of this horrible dish that my mother used to make, a sliced hardboiled egg with Thousand Island dressing over it. I think this is one of the things that people made in the 60s, along with Jell-O molds with fruit and whipped cream. It was revolting.
Anyway, I got this wonderful cookbook in the mail today. It's called Simple French Cooking, by X. Marcel Boulestin, and it was published in the 1920s as a guide to British cooks and their mistresses. That's mistresses as in employers, not the other kind! Back from the time when it was reasonable to think that a lot of people would have a cook. This book is just marvelous to read if you like old recipes. My favorite so far is the Lievre a la Royale, which I think translates to something like Royal Hare. The beginning of this recipe starts: "Bone the hare. Prepare a stuffing of truffled foie gras cut in slices, a quarter of a pound of veal and pork mixed, salt and pepper; arrange the minced meat between the slices of foie gras and remodel the hare." Remodel the hare??? Add an extra room and some wallpaper? The rest of the directions include cooking for 12 hours. I am dying to try this but I have no idea where I would get a hare. Or truffled foie gras.
The really interesting thing is that the vast majority of these recipes are rich but incredibly low carb. (And, by the way, just how big is "a good piece of butter?")
The preface to the book includes a quote from Darwin that I'd never heard before:
"Even the headless oyster seems to profit from experience."
Monday, June 2, 2008
Stats, Week of June 2
Michael: -4.2 lbs, 490.1, total loss since January: 53.24 lbs.
Nina: -0.0 lbs, 279.8, total loss since January: 22.4 lbs.
All things considered, I can live with that. My weight has been up and down all week, and I think, once again, that it's all about keeping an eye on the portion sizes. It's harder because I'm home most of the time now that the semester's over, and I won't be back in the office much until July, when my racquetball partner/hopefully research partner will be back from China. Just working at home is great in a lot of ways, but it's easy to nibble too much. Easy to spend too much time thinking too much, too... my goal for today has got to be, try to stop worrying about everything constantly and get some work done.
Nina: -0.0 lbs, 279.8, total loss since January: 22.4 lbs.
All things considered, I can live with that. My weight has been up and down all week, and I think, once again, that it's all about keeping an eye on the portion sizes. It's harder because I'm home most of the time now that the semester's over, and I won't be back in the office much until July, when my racquetball partner/hopefully research partner will be back from China. Just working at home is great in a lot of ways, but it's easy to nibble too much. Easy to spend too much time thinking too much, too... my goal for today has got to be, try to stop worrying about everything constantly and get some work done.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Grim
If you want to read cheerful things, you're at the wrong blog today. For that matter, this is not all that diet/low carb/anything of the sort, although I do want to talk a little about maintaining lifestyle in the face of life problems.
I've known since my mother's cancer recurred that the likelihood of a good result was slim. Recurrence in this short a time period is nearly always a terrible sign, and her age is against her, too, and ovarian cancer is a killer. Yesterday my doctor sister decided to say what I already really knew, that she'd seen the scans and that they basically look terrible. The best hope of the chemotherapy is to buy a little time, not cure anything. I knew this already, knew it when I heard the symptoms weeks ago. In a lot of ways, I deal better with reality than with the vague "everything's going to be ok" sorts of notions. At least reality is... well, real. Not an ephemeral hope that's never going to materialize. And then you can sort of plan.
There is always hope. But you have to temper hope with realism. And you have to use the time you have wisely.
I'm just sad. Nothing else, really. There's nothing else to be. There are so many things you could say, so many ironies to it all, which is a whole different story... so many things you could say about living for the day and life and death, and so on. But I don't have the heart for any of them.
The best scenario is that somehow this will be able to bring some healing to my fractured family, and that in turn will give my mother some kind of peace. The last time my entire family was in the same place, maybe 6 years ago, my uncle was dying of pancreatic cancer. This all has a horrible familiarity. But that was the beginning of the deepest and worst fractures. So maybe this will be able to mend some of the things that happened then. Maybe. The scars run pretty deep.
And the other thing that this does is what I do every day... renew my determination to beat this weight thing. For me, for Michael. I'm determined not to let this be a reason to let the structure of diet and exercise that we've so carefully put in place disintegrate in the face of chaos. Determined not to let food be a comfort for things for which there is no real comfort, anyway. I see so many thing... well, I see my own life, and the way that I've gained weight around every crisis. I see other people say, I was doing well, and then this thing happened. And I know how easy it is to go down that slippery slope. I don't want to do that this time. Neither of us can afford that... and I want so desperately to get physically to where we need to be to have the life we want. Yes, before it's too late.
I've known since my mother's cancer recurred that the likelihood of a good result was slim. Recurrence in this short a time period is nearly always a terrible sign, and her age is against her, too, and ovarian cancer is a killer. Yesterday my doctor sister decided to say what I already really knew, that she'd seen the scans and that they basically look terrible. The best hope of the chemotherapy is to buy a little time, not cure anything. I knew this already, knew it when I heard the symptoms weeks ago. In a lot of ways, I deal better with reality than with the vague "everything's going to be ok" sorts of notions. At least reality is... well, real. Not an ephemeral hope that's never going to materialize. And then you can sort of plan.
There is always hope. But you have to temper hope with realism. And you have to use the time you have wisely.
I'm just sad. Nothing else, really. There's nothing else to be. There are so many things you could say, so many ironies to it all, which is a whole different story... so many things you could say about living for the day and life and death, and so on. But I don't have the heart for any of them.
The best scenario is that somehow this will be able to bring some healing to my fractured family, and that in turn will give my mother some kind of peace. The last time my entire family was in the same place, maybe 6 years ago, my uncle was dying of pancreatic cancer. This all has a horrible familiarity. But that was the beginning of the deepest and worst fractures. So maybe this will be able to mend some of the things that happened then. Maybe. The scars run pretty deep.
And the other thing that this does is what I do every day... renew my determination to beat this weight thing. For me, for Michael. I'm determined not to let this be a reason to let the structure of diet and exercise that we've so carefully put in place disintegrate in the face of chaos. Determined not to let food be a comfort for things for which there is no real comfort, anyway. I see so many thing... well, I see my own life, and the way that I've gained weight around every crisis. I see other people say, I was doing well, and then this thing happened. And I know how easy it is to go down that slippery slope. I don't want to do that this time. Neither of us can afford that... and I want so desperately to get physically to where we need to be to have the life we want. Yes, before it's too late.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Souvlaki Hirina/Tzatziki
This recipe originated in Saveur (#111, p.39), actually the only recipe that I've managed to pull out of Saveur that I much liked, but I've tweaked it a tiny bit (as usual) and added some suggestions. It's really just a classic Cyprus pork souvlaki (souvlaki, FYI, derives from the word for skewer, so it's just skewered meat, essentially).
This consists of two things, the marinade for the meat, and the classic tzatziki (cucumber-mint) sauce.
For the marinade:
About 2 cups red wine
2 t. dried oregano
2 t. ground cumin (if possible, grind the seeds yourself; they're much better freshly ground)
2 t. kosher salt (or to taste)
1 t. dried thyme
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
6 cloves garlic, pressed or finely chopped
freshly ground black pepper
The above makes more than enough marinade for 2 lbs. of pork (probably enough for 4 lbs.). Pork shoulder is good, and a fattier cut tastes better grilled than a leaner cut. Cut into 1-1/2" inch cubes; the idea is to get this as even as possible because it helps with even cooking.
Mix all the ingredients, cover, and let marinate for 2 hours at room temperature or overnight in the refrigerator. This is better the longer you marinate it, and if you have a tough cut of meat, you want to leave it a long time, as the red wine will tenderize it.
For the Tzatziki:
1 cucumber (use the English/seedless kind)
1-1/2 c. greek yogurt, like Fage (you can use a different yogurt, but greek-style is FAR better, and also lower carb. Regardless, it should be a full-fat yogurt)
1/2 c. fresh mint leaves, finely chopped
2. T olive oil
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste (many do not add pepper to tzatziki; I like the little bit of bite, but go easy on it, and it's better to use white pepper if you put much in)
Peel and seed the cucumber and chop very finely. Stir in all the other ingredients; cover and refrigerate if not serving immediately. Tzatziki can be made up to a day in advance, but it's better the fresher it is. If you've never had really fresh tzatziki, it's amazingly good, and nothing like the premade stuff from the store. It's just kind of a nuisance to chop the cucumber! (Maybe I just need more practice...)
Cooking the souvlaki: Skewer the meat, season with salt and pepper, and then grill or broil. The original recipe suggested 20-25 minutes; this is far too long. On my huge Weber gas grill (on pretty low heat), this took maybe 15 minutes, and I thought that they were slightly overcooked. In the oven under a broiler, this would probably take a little longer, but I think 25 minutes would cremate them. Heat the remaining marinade in a saucepan and use to baste the meat while cooking (this is optional, really, although it increases the moistness).
Traditionally, this is served with pita or rice; it's fine all by itself. Sprinkle with chopped scallions and chopped flat-leaf parsley if desired. I usually make green beans with pine nuts as a complement to this dish.
Carbs? Nothing in the pork really; Fage yogurt is 8 carbs/cup, so you have to eat a lot of the sauce to get many carbs at all. More if you use a different yogurt, but a lot of people argue that the carbs in yogurt are overstated, anyway (still, go easy on the sauce in induction). Gluten-free, wheat-free.
This consists of two things, the marinade for the meat, and the classic tzatziki (cucumber-mint) sauce.
For the marinade:
About 2 cups red wine
2 t. dried oregano
2 t. ground cumin (if possible, grind the seeds yourself; they're much better freshly ground)
2 t. kosher salt (or to taste)
1 t. dried thyme
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
6 cloves garlic, pressed or finely chopped
freshly ground black pepper
The above makes more than enough marinade for 2 lbs. of pork (probably enough for 4 lbs.). Pork shoulder is good, and a fattier cut tastes better grilled than a leaner cut. Cut into 1-1/2" inch cubes; the idea is to get this as even as possible because it helps with even cooking.
Mix all the ingredients, cover, and let marinate for 2 hours at room temperature or overnight in the refrigerator. This is better the longer you marinate it, and if you have a tough cut of meat, you want to leave it a long time, as the red wine will tenderize it.
For the Tzatziki:
1 cucumber (use the English/seedless kind)
1-1/2 c. greek yogurt, like Fage (you can use a different yogurt, but greek-style is FAR better, and also lower carb. Regardless, it should be a full-fat yogurt)
1/2 c. fresh mint leaves, finely chopped
2. T olive oil
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste (many do not add pepper to tzatziki; I like the little bit of bite, but go easy on it, and it's better to use white pepper if you put much in)
Peel and seed the cucumber and chop very finely. Stir in all the other ingredients; cover and refrigerate if not serving immediately. Tzatziki can be made up to a day in advance, but it's better the fresher it is. If you've never had really fresh tzatziki, it's amazingly good, and nothing like the premade stuff from the store. It's just kind of a nuisance to chop the cucumber! (Maybe I just need more practice...)
Cooking the souvlaki: Skewer the meat, season with salt and pepper, and then grill or broil. The original recipe suggested 20-25 minutes; this is far too long. On my huge Weber gas grill (on pretty low heat), this took maybe 15 minutes, and I thought that they were slightly overcooked. In the oven under a broiler, this would probably take a little longer, but I think 25 minutes would cremate them. Heat the remaining marinade in a saucepan and use to baste the meat while cooking (this is optional, really, although it increases the moistness).
Traditionally, this is served with pita or rice; it's fine all by itself. Sprinkle with chopped scallions and chopped flat-leaf parsley if desired. I usually make green beans with pine nuts as a complement to this dish.
Carbs? Nothing in the pork really; Fage yogurt is 8 carbs/cup, so you have to eat a lot of the sauce to get many carbs at all. More if you use a different yogurt, but a lot of people argue that the carbs in yogurt are overstated, anyway (still, go easy on the sauce in induction). Gluten-free, wheat-free.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday worries
It's a bright, sunshiny cool morning here, I have some pretty medieval music on the stereo, and I'm trying to get some work done, but really I'm just tired and fretting about everything. It's really quiet this morning... Michael's gone back to bed after spending all night sleeping in the recliner because he kept getting leg cramps... which meant that he didn't sleep well, and neither did I with only my stuffed sheep for company. Mint Julep and I don't much like sleeping alone!
The leg cramps are the one thing that we forgot to ask the doctor about, which figures. They are becoming a huge issue, very painful... we've tried all sorts of combinations of things with no particular conclusion, unfortunately. I think it's mostly a hydration issue, but it takes a couple of days to really kick in, so it's hard to prove whether I'm anything like right.
My weight loss is sluggish at best, I feel like eating far too often, and I'm just worrying about that... not really worrying, I guess, but it would be nice to have the scale go down and actually stay there, instead of this up/down pattern. I really think that I'm just eating too much; I've been hungry all the time lately... or, more truthfully, maybe it's that I'm bored, and because I'm home all day (since school is out) and 5 feet from the kitchen, food just seems like a good diversion. I don't know.
And I'm so worried about my mother. She's starting this new round of chemotherapy, and she actually sounds ok, but I know she's scared. We all are. I have a terrible feeling about all of this, and the worst thing of all is that she's mostly alone there; my sister isn't there enough, and I just don't know what I can do. I'm going to try to go for a few days next week... but even that is difficult.
Ok. Stop it. This is not particularly helpful to anything (and, no, it doesn't make for an entertaining blog, either). Get back to work. Make some tea. Weed something.
What's for dinner? Hm. Chicken with chorizo? Or whatever is most in need of cooking, I think!
The leg cramps are the one thing that we forgot to ask the doctor about, which figures. They are becoming a huge issue, very painful... we've tried all sorts of combinations of things with no particular conclusion, unfortunately. I think it's mostly a hydration issue, but it takes a couple of days to really kick in, so it's hard to prove whether I'm anything like right.
My weight loss is sluggish at best, I feel like eating far too often, and I'm just worrying about that... not really worrying, I guess, but it would be nice to have the scale go down and actually stay there, instead of this up/down pattern. I really think that I'm just eating too much; I've been hungry all the time lately... or, more truthfully, maybe it's that I'm bored, and because I'm home all day (since school is out) and 5 feet from the kitchen, food just seems like a good diversion. I don't know.
And I'm so worried about my mother. She's starting this new round of chemotherapy, and she actually sounds ok, but I know she's scared. We all are. I have a terrible feeling about all of this, and the worst thing of all is that she's mostly alone there; my sister isn't there enough, and I just don't know what I can do. I'm going to try to go for a few days next week... but even that is difficult.
Ok. Stop it. This is not particularly helpful to anything (and, no, it doesn't make for an entertaining blog, either). Get back to work. Make some tea. Weed something.
What's for dinner? Hm. Chicken with chorizo? Or whatever is most in need of cooking, I think!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Back to the Doctors + Lab Work
Tuesday, we spent all day either at a doctors office or phoning doctors offices, trying to arrange appointments. Or it seems that way anyway, even with a lovely break to go to the Enormous Garden Store. Not it's name, but it might as well be. Anyway, after nearly eight months of doctor hiatus, we're back in the system! Oh joy... Next week we have two more appointments, and one the following week, and so on. And so on.
The good news x 2... the first part is the doctor (GP) doesn't think that there's any major structural issue with Michael's leg, which is very good, and referred us back to the sports medicine guy, who will undoubtedly send him back for physical therapy, which is all good. We did a round of physical therapy at that place before, and it was ok, all things considered, but at the time, Michael's head was a lot less into really working on this stuff, so with the hassle of driving back and forth and not a lot of dedication about doing the exercises at home, we quit. This time might be different, although the endless problem is trying to find a physical therapist who understands that doing exercises on a 500 lb. body is not the same as doing exercise on a 200 lb. body. But at any rate, Michael feels better for getting a little input on it and having someone say it's ok, and so now, we work on the process of getting it better.
The other good news is cholesterol tests, which were the first ones since we started eating low carb. What you'd have to call the typical low-carb result... LDL about the same, HDL fractionally higher, and triglycerides drop like a rock... from 327 to 73. Amazingly good, especially if you believe that triglycerides are the main issue, not LDL. The doctor didn't say much about it, because he was focused on a lot of other things. He's an LDL guy, but we are definitely not going back to any medication on this, so if he wants that, what I really want to see is a particle size test; I forget what that's called, so I have to research that.
Anyway, all good really, and now I have to plant the ton of stuff that I bought at the garden place!
The good news x 2... the first part is the doctor (GP) doesn't think that there's any major structural issue with Michael's leg, which is very good, and referred us back to the sports medicine guy, who will undoubtedly send him back for physical therapy, which is all good. We did a round of physical therapy at that place before, and it was ok, all things considered, but at the time, Michael's head was a lot less into really working on this stuff, so with the hassle of driving back and forth and not a lot of dedication about doing the exercises at home, we quit. This time might be different, although the endless problem is trying to find a physical therapist who understands that doing exercises on a 500 lb. body is not the same as doing exercise on a 200 lb. body. But at any rate, Michael feels better for getting a little input on it and having someone say it's ok, and so now, we work on the process of getting it better.
The other good news is cholesterol tests, which were the first ones since we started eating low carb. What you'd have to call the typical low-carb result... LDL about the same, HDL fractionally higher, and triglycerides drop like a rock... from 327 to 73. Amazingly good, especially if you believe that triglycerides are the main issue, not LDL. The doctor didn't say much about it, because he was focused on a lot of other things. He's an LDL guy, but we are definitely not going back to any medication on this, so if he wants that, what I really want to see is a particle size test; I forget what that's called, so I have to research that.
Anyway, all good really, and now I have to plant the ton of stuff that I bought at the garden place!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Stats, Week of May 26th
Michael: +1.32 lbs, 494.5, total loss since January: 48.84 lbs.
Nina: -0.66 lbs, 279.8, total loss since January: 22.4 lbs.
Not a stellar week, as predicted, although I'm down very slightly. We were both down more... mid-week for Michael, yesterday for me, but I'd knew I ate too much junk yesterday, and Michael... well, let's just say that processing stuff out has been difficult. Nothing to worry about, and it's a cyclical thing; we lose for a few weeks, and then there's a flat week.
Nina: -0.66 lbs, 279.8, total loss since January: 22.4 lbs.
Not a stellar week, as predicted, although I'm down very slightly. We were both down more... mid-week for Michael, yesterday for me, but I'd knew I ate too much junk yesterday, and Michael... well, let's just say that processing stuff out has been difficult. Nothing to worry about, and it's a cyclical thing; we lose for a few weeks, and then there's a flat week.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Making the Right Choices/Body Images
It's been one of those days, for a few days now. Just rough, in various ways. After two days of loving care, Michael's knee pain has gone down to a little more tolerable, which is a really good thing... but it's all been just hard for him, as it is every day. You don't gain a great deal of weight without a certain disconnection from the reality of your body, I think, and for him, the process of undoing that is in part reconnecting with his body... but that's not an easy thing, especially when your body won't do what you want it to, and when you're in pain a great deal of the time.
I don't think that this is like this for everyone (is it?) but for me, there's always been some degree of disconnect, disassociation, between my mind and my body. I think that the best example of this is photographs... ok, I am the least photogenic person in the world (really!), and the camera adds weight, and the flatness of photo images is deceptive... but for most of my life, I've never looked at a photograph of myself and had much sense of recognition. I don't look like I do in my mind... I'm a lot fatter, for one thing, but I also just look... different. And Michael's the extreme example of this, someone who literally gained hundreds of pounds without any true awareness that he was doing it or that it was having any impact on his body... and then, bang, you wake up, and here you are in a world that you can't even figure out how you got to. It's not so simple and clean as that, and there are a lot of other factors... family and stress and depression and so on... but the details are almost unimportant compared to that wake-up reality.
And it's hard to live in your body all the time, to make conscious and mindful choices, to make the best choices 24/7. After a day of eating really well, I just sat down and ate a bunch of pork rinds and sour cream and a sugar-free chocolate... ok, not really the stuff that binges are made of, but the reality of it was that I just had a moment of not caring, of wanting to turn off my head more than I cared about anything else (including the weight low that I hit this morning, and that I've been kind of happy about all day). And now I'm a little annoyed. It is so damn hard to make the right choice all the time, to keep that iron determination not for a day or a week but years on end, and to do it in the face of too many other life problems. I feel like I've been complaining all the time lately, but really... we spend a lot of time affirming the positive, giving support and positive encouragement and so on. And every so often, I think you just need a time out, a reality check, a moment when you get to say, this is just difficult. And I'm tired.
And then, of course, you have to pick up and do the next thing on your list. Back to the regularly scheduled program.
What's for dinner? Chicken and chorizo with vegetable medley.
I don't think that this is like this for everyone (is it?) but for me, there's always been some degree of disconnect, disassociation, between my mind and my body. I think that the best example of this is photographs... ok, I am the least photogenic person in the world (really!), and the camera adds weight, and the flatness of photo images is deceptive... but for most of my life, I've never looked at a photograph of myself and had much sense of recognition. I don't look like I do in my mind... I'm a lot fatter, for one thing, but I also just look... different. And Michael's the extreme example of this, someone who literally gained hundreds of pounds without any true awareness that he was doing it or that it was having any impact on his body... and then, bang, you wake up, and here you are in a world that you can't even figure out how you got to. It's not so simple and clean as that, and there are a lot of other factors... family and stress and depression and so on... but the details are almost unimportant compared to that wake-up reality.
And it's hard to live in your body all the time, to make conscious and mindful choices, to make the best choices 24/7. After a day of eating really well, I just sat down and ate a bunch of pork rinds and sour cream and a sugar-free chocolate... ok, not really the stuff that binges are made of, but the reality of it was that I just had a moment of not caring, of wanting to turn off my head more than I cared about anything else (including the weight low that I hit this morning, and that I've been kind of happy about all day). And now I'm a little annoyed. It is so damn hard to make the right choice all the time, to keep that iron determination not for a day or a week but years on end, and to do it in the face of too many other life problems. I feel like I've been complaining all the time lately, but really... we spend a lot of time affirming the positive, giving support and positive encouragement and so on. And every so often, I think you just need a time out, a reality check, a moment when you get to say, this is just difficult. And I'm tired.
And then, of course, you have to pick up and do the next thing on your list. Back to the regularly scheduled program.
What's for dinner? Chicken and chorizo with vegetable medley.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Salmon with Lentils/Variants
This is a fantastically good recipe that that I found in Gourmet. The only catch about it is that it uses lentils, which could be ok if you're on a low-carb diet (in moderation), but it's definitely not induction friendly, because you will use up all your carbs in one meal! So I'm giving you my version of the original recipe, but also some suggestions for making it lower carb if desired.
You will need:
1 cup lentils (French green are suggested, but any lentils are really ok)
4 cups water
about 8 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons wholegrain mustard
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh chives
1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh tarragon (must be fresh)
2 leeks
4 salmon fillets, about 6 oz. each
Put the lentils, water, and about 1 tsp. salt in a medium saucepan, cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 20-25 minutes, until just tender. Reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid, and drain.
While the lentils are cooking, make herb butter. Use 5 T. butter, softened, the mustard, the chives, the tarragon, and the lemon juice. Set aside. Then finely chop the lentils (white and pale green parts only) and rinse to remove any dirt. Sauté the leeks in 1 T. butter until soft.
Add the lentils to the leeks, and add about 3 T of the herb butter. Taste; add salt, freshly-ground pepper, and more lemon juice as needed.
In a nonstick pan, melt the remaining (plain) butter. Pan-fry the salmon, turning once, 3-4 minutes on each side, depending on thickness. (Don't overcook. Overcooked salmon is dry and not so great.) Spread with remaining herb butter, and serve (with the lentils).
Serves 4; takes about 35 minutes if you are efficient!
Modifications:
You will need:
1 cup lentils (French green are suggested, but any lentils are really ok)
4 cups water
about 8 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons wholegrain mustard
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh chives
1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh tarragon (must be fresh)
2 leeks
4 salmon fillets, about 6 oz. each
Put the lentils, water, and about 1 tsp. salt in a medium saucepan, cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 20-25 minutes, until just tender. Reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid, and drain.
While the lentils are cooking, make herb butter. Use 5 T. butter, softened, the mustard, the chives, the tarragon, and the lemon juice. Set aside. Then finely chop the lentils (white and pale green parts only) and rinse to remove any dirt. Sauté the leeks in 1 T. butter until soft.
Add the lentils to the leeks, and add about 3 T of the herb butter. Taste; add salt, freshly-ground pepper, and more lemon juice as needed.
In a nonstick pan, melt the remaining (plain) butter. Pan-fry the salmon, turning once, 3-4 minutes on each side, depending on thickness. (Don't overcook. Overcooked salmon is dry and not so great.) Spread with remaining herb butter, and serve (with the lentils).
Serves 4; takes about 35 minutes if you are efficient!
Modifications:
- For more or fewer people: Lentils require about 1/4 cup (uncooked) per person, and about 1 cup water for each 1/4 cup of lentils. Thus you can easily cook more or less; just add a little extra to the herb butter for more.
- To reduce carbs: Skip the lentils. Use green beans instead, but reduce the mustard by 1/2, or omit it completely. (Steam the green beans, which should probably be sliced, and then add to the lentil mix.) Summer savory is a nice substitute for the tarragon if you're using green beans.
- Different herb butters: The taste of this dish really depends on what's in the herb butter. As written, it's lemony and mustardy... but if you omit the mustard, you get just lemony, with that anise taste of tarragon. Or try a completely different combination... for example, omit the tarragon and mustard and add a little curry powder (not too much!). Or keep the tarragon, omit the mustard, and add a little chipotle chili powder or some finely diced jalapenos. Totally different dish.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)